I will always sacrifice sleep to avoid crowds. So, arranged for a crack of dawn tour at the Tower of London, guided by a Beefeater. A brilliant decision, because the crowds showed up in merciless droves by 10:30am, which is when we made our exit.

Our Beefeater, David, was a riot. Why are they called Beefeaters? David: “Dunno. No one knows for sure.” But he doesn’t mind that every year Beefeater Gin sends them all a bottle of their best stuff.

All Beefeaters are retired from the British Armed Forces, with at least 22 years of service. They, and their families, live on the Tower grounds. Pizza delivery must be a bit problematic.

Saw the crown jewels. Very pretty and very sparkly and very shiny. But honestly, I expected to have a wow moment, and I had a meh moment. Kept wondering: who has to clean and polish all of this stuff?

So, where was Anne Boleyn beheaded? David: “right around here-ish”. Apparently, her ghost lives at the Tower. Headless, of course. Did not see Anne’s torso while we were there. What’s a girl gotta do to see a ghost in this town?

One of David’s collateral duties is to care for the Tower ravens. The Tower is protected by a conspiracy (group) of ravens. Legend says if the ravens ever leave the Tower, then the Tower will fall. So, there are at least 6 ravens at the Tower at all times. Meet George and Poppy. Gorgeous creatures. Honestly, I was more enthralled with them than the jewels.

Walked from the Tower to the Burrough Market, which is an absolute HIVE of people and food. Had a delicious cider and a duck confit sandwich. Then, all the people started to make me twitch, so I had a lavender gin and tonic – for medicinal purposes.

Walked from the Burrough Market to the London Eye. A fresh hellscape of people. Had pre-booked us a Champagne “experience”, so we got to skip the line with our guide, and we drank Champagne 443 feet above the city of London. Lovely experience. Sun even made an appearance.

Brilliant squad dinner tonight at a pub in Marleybone.