After surviving our night in the ice hotel, I was up by 0700, and heading toward a hot shower. Breakfast and then a king crab adventure await!

Our crab guide, Dirk, is a German by birth, but has lived here, at the top of the world, for the last 15 years. He speaks German, English, Norwegian, and Russian. He spent time in the German Army, training with the French Foreign Legion, and in Russia doing “things”. He’s also an expert on king crabs.

We shared our adventure with a German couple, and a group of six young Chinese girls, on holiday from their studies in London. At first, all of the girls refused to change into polar suits and boots. Because Gucci sneakers and yoga pants are the way to go in these conditions. One girl was losing her shit because the suit wasn’t fashionable. I lost patience, and went a little Mom on them – “No one cares how you look. You’re gonna freeze if you don’t change.” Luckily, Dirk stepped in: “No. This is the Arctic. You dress my way, or you don’t go.” Dirk is my hero.

Drove out and onto a frozen fjord. Dirk swore it was “totally safe”, but there’s a part of me that thinks unsafe thoughts. Got to pull crab pots from the ice holes. Those dudes are *heavy*!

Learned that king crabs are called “king” because they have blue blood. Literally . Their blood contains copper, and once it hits oxygen, it turns blue. Doesn’t photograph well, but I promise it really is blue.

Had lots of time for crab pictures. We were done in five minutes. But these girls? They must have taken 10 billion videos and pics. Choreographed poses. Some of which were extremely funny. You think American girls take a lot of pictures? Those girls: Hold my beer.

Came back, and changed out of our polar survival suits. Gucci sneakers returned, no frostbite. Then, Dirk cooked the crabs, and we had ourselves a FEAST!!

Easily the best crab I’ve ever eaten. Outstanding by itself, but we also tried king crab the Norwegian way: an open faced sandwich of bread, butter, crab, lemon, and mayonnaise. Which is inexplicably greenish here in Norway. No matter. Delicious.

Followed our feast with a glorious nap in our heated cabin. Will look for the aurora tonight, but it’s completely cloudy, so very little chance. Might read my book!