Everyone has decided that tendering off the ship (going from big boat to little boat to go ashore) has jumped the shark. We’re over it.

Santorini is one of those places that always looks perfect in the brochure. But what they don’t tell you is that Santorini is built on TOP of the island, not the bottom. Once you arrive in the cruise port, you are met with a sea of humanity. And every single one of them wants to get into the funicular to ride to the top of the island where the town is. The wait for that was over 2 hours. There are a pack of donkeys that will ride you up the hill, but honestly, they all looked like I should call Greek ASPCA. Hard pass.

SO your last option is to *walk* up 600 motherfucking (profanity intended and deserved) switchback stairs. And they aren’t just stairs, they are ancient cobblestone stairs with zero grip. It’s a miracle I didn’t fall more than once.

But wait, there’s more. Remember the donkeys? Well, they shit all the way up and down the switchbacks, which makes the walk even more unpleasant. Once you get to the top, there is street after street of tsotchkes shops, with a smattering of worthwhile shops. I bought a bracelet, which I love, but I’m not gonna lie, the A/C in the shop strongly influenced my willingness to buy.

We walked around quite a bit, but never did find those truly spectacular vistas advertised in the brochure. Had a coffee, but we agreed it was better in Corfu.

Discovered Greece makes Lemon Coke Zero. This needs to happen in the US. Also had gelato which was yum.

The walk down almost killed us. Everyone was DONE. I slipped and fell on the way down, but managed to nail my landing, and avoid the fresh donkey dung piles. My legs do not work anymore. N

one of us are in love with Santorini — unintended exercise and a smidge of heat exhaustion will do that to you.

Tomorrow: Mykonos.