Walking orientation tour of Budapest this morning, led by Ádám – affectionately known (by me) as Hungarian Sheldon Cooper. This man has an encyclopedic knowledge of Hungary, which he shared with us – in its entirety. Ádám delivered facts in a rapid-fire cadence that was both impressive and overwhelming all at once. 

Did you know… Hungary invented computers? Neither did I. But according to Ádám, Hungarians invented pretty much everything. And if they didn’t invent it first, they perfected it later – therefore, they invented it. To wit: the telephone. Sure, Alexander Graham Bell gets credit for the invention, but it was a Hungarian who created the first telephone exchange. Ergo, Hungarians invented the telephone. Hungarians are also responsible for bringing the world electricity, the supercomputer, the word “hello,” carbonated water, and national pride at pretty impressive level.

The Budapest Marathon

Started our walk by accidentally participating in the Budapest Marathon. Over 40,000 runners – which made crossing the street an adventure. Did you know . . . a Hungarian running coach developed the first scientific system of interval training in the 1930s?

I . . . did not.

Ken was briefly nostalgic for his own marathon days, but then he remembered that running a marathon really hurts. He got over the nostalgia very quickly.

Heroes’ Square

Once we escaped the marathon, we headed to Heroes’ Square, where a bunch of important Hungarian heroes are buried. We spent a baffling amount of time talking about this column (see photo below), built in 1896 to honor Hungary’s 1,000th anniversary. Normally, a giant statue of Archangel Gabriel sits on top of the column, but it was removed for renovations last summer. Ádám was heartbroken we didn’t get to see it. I was . . . less heartbroken.

Surrounding the base of the column are seven statues. They represent the seven Magyar chieftains who led their respective tribes into the region – sometime around 895. They all swore a blood oath to unite said tribes into one nation, thus establishing the foundation for the region of Hungary. These guys pop up everywhere in Budapest – like historical Easter eggs.

Budapest’s Public Transportation

We rode every form of public transportation in Budapest today: historical subway, communist subway, city bus, and tram (cable car). Easy peasy with a guide, but I’m not going to attempt this on my own tomorrow.

The historical subway, built in 1896 to commemorate Hungary’s Millennium (I feel like most of Budapest was built for this millennium party) is one of the city’s most treasured landmarks. Did you know . . . it was Europe’s first electric subway? London might have invented the subway, but in Ádám-logic, Hungary improved it with electricity, therefore they invented it.

The communist subway lines, built from the 1950s to the 1990s, were designed to showcase socialist efficiency. They also showcased socialist architecture, which means they were also super ugly.

Budapest City Park

Ádám was very keen to show us Budapest City Park. Originally, it was a private hunting ground used by the nobility. We walked by the Vajdahunyad Castle, originally built – any guesses?? – in 1896 for the Millennial Exhibition. Yes, the Hungarians built a whole castle for the Millennium. Did not go inside. Walked by a few more buildings, a church, and … George Washington? What are you doing in Budapest? A 1906 friendship statue that shockingly survived the communist years. Ádám said the communists didn’t find George threatening, so they left him alone.

Anonymous

Ádám insisted we needed a photo with Hungary’s famous Anonymous statue. As the story goes, Anonymous wrote the first book of Hungarian history (so basically, he invented writing), but didn’t sign his work. So, he was immortalized as Anonymous. Legend says if you touch the statue, your writing skills will improve. If you need me, I’ll be waiting for my Pulitzer.

Speaking of writing. Did you know . . . Hungarians invented the ball point pen? True story.

Castle Hill and Fisherman’s Bastion

Took the city bus up to Castle Hill/Holy Trinity Square, on the Buda side of the river, where the Matthias Church and Fisherman’s Bastion are the main attractions. The royal coronation for Franz Joseph I and Empress Elisabeth (Sisi) was held at Matthias Church. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t be of much interest to me, but I got sucked into watching The Empress on Netflix. So I feel like I know Sisi.

Also in the square is Fisherman’s Bastion, the 19th-century lookout tower complex next to Buda Castle. Any guesses why it was built? Yep, the millennium party again. The bastion is a major tourist attraction known for its Disney-like architecture. It features seven towers representing the seven tribes that founded Hungary. Hello again, chieftains.

A Secret Spot

The views of the Danube River and the Hungarian Parliament are incredible from up there. And everyone was jostling for camera position. I loathe crowd situations, but I will throw elbows to get a good photo. Just as I was about to wade into the sea of humanity – Ádám to the rescue. He knows a secret place. At the top of the Fisherman’s Basin, there is a little cafe on the Margarete Terrace. It has an imposing guard who stands behind velvet ropes and mostly turns people away. Ádám said some Hungarian words to the guard, and just like that, the velvet rope opened for us. I asked Ádám what he said. I’ll never know for sure if this is true (since my Hungarian is pretty sketchy), but Ádám said he told the guard we were American VIP guests of President Erdogan. I’m highly skeptical, but whatever he said, it worked, and we got a table. And some incredible views.

Falconry once played an important role in medieval Hungarian noble life. Falconry was considered a prestige activity – the royal court kept falconers, hunting staff, and aviaries as part of its noble lifestyle. Today, their role seems to be getting tourists to part with their forints (Hungarian money).

Pro Tip: If you find yourself on Castle Hill and you really need to use the bathroom, skip the Starbucks. Everyone knows that trick. There’s usually a line, and the bathrooms in Starbucks get really icky. Instead, walk into the Hilton Hotel (really, any big hotel) like you own the place and use the lobby bathroom. Works like a charm – there’s no line, and the bathroom will be clean.

The Rubik’s Cube

Did you know . . . the Hungarians invented the Rubik’s Cube? Ooooh. Yes, I did know that. Honestly. By a Hungarian professor who wanted to test humanity’s patience. Every Gen-X kid had one of these. I could only ever solve two sides of the damn thing, though.

Széchenyi Bath

On our way back to our hotel, we stopped for a quick peek into the famous Széchenyi Bath, which opened in 1913. Budapest sits on over a hundred natural hot springs, and public bathing has been part of local culture since Roman times. The water is naturally heated, mineral-rich, and believed to have therapeutic effects for a whole laundry list of medical conditions. Ordinarily, I would jump at the chance to marinate in a pond of warm, miracle water with hundreds of strangers, but dammit, I forgot my bathing suit.

We said our farewells to Ádám and set out to find some dinner. It’s 51 degrees tonight, and everyone is eating dinner outside. All the restaurants provide heaters and blankets – no one even considers eating inside. And I am here for it. I love not sweating.

In the end, Ádám’s boundless enthusiasm for Hungary – along with his unwavering did-you-know conviction that his country invented nearly everything worth inventing – became the running theme of our day. A passionate guide can be the difference between a checklist of sights and a day you’ll never forget.

Postscript: Ádám told us our hotel (the Corinthia Budapest) was a communist cinema during Soviet times. Now the giant staircase in yesterday’s photos makes more sense.

Travel date: October 12, 2025