I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, I knew it was going to be hot. But I didn’t think it would be Vatican hot (for reference, this is approximately two degrees less than the surface of the sun, and my new metric for unbearable heat). I cannot stand being hot. I’m Nordic – I have no business being in the sun, or the heat. AND, I’m in the throes of menopause, so I burst into flames every 20 minutes or so, anyway. So I’m not sure what part of my brain wasn’t firing for me to think cruising the Mediterranean in June would be a good idea.

The brochure looked so nice. 😉

Heat aside, the trip would have been a home run had Anna not gotten the ick to end all icks for six days of it. But, now we have a good story to tell.

So, The Cruise

A few of you have asked for our itinerary. We sailed on the Explora II, which is owned by MSC. Here’s the map of where we went:

I don’t have a lot of cruise experience – my only source for comparison is a cruise to Italy and Greece we took a couple of years ago on the Norwegian Gem. And while we had a great time on the cruise (because we were with the best traveling companions), I wasn’t crazy about the large size of the ship – and all of the people crammed onto said ship.

So, I started looking into smaller cruise ships for this trip. Here’s a side-by-side comparison between the two ships:

At first glance, the two ships don’t look that different in size. But check the gross tonnage (a ship’s internal volume). The Gem is quite a bit bigger. And more gross tonnage = more room for people.

Feature	Explora II (Explora Journeys)	Norwegian Gem (Norwegian Cruise Line)
Cruise Line Type	Luxury	Mainstream
Passenger Capacity	922 guests	2,394 guests
Gross Tonnage	63,900 GT	93,530 GT
Length	813 feet / 248 meters	965 feet / 294 meters
Crew-to-Passenger Ratio	1.25:1	1:2
Suites vs. Cabins	All suites, all oceanfront	Mix of suites, balconies, oceanview & inside cabins
Average Stateroom Size	377 sq ft	Starts at ~140 sq ft for inside cabins
Dining	9 culinary experiences; no buffets	Specialty & main dining rooms + buffet
Included in Fare	Fine dining, all beverages, gratuities, Wi-Fi, wellness	Most dining & entertainment; extra cost for drinks, Wi-Fi, tips
Price Point (typical)	$$$$ (ultra-luxury)	$$ (mid-tier)

Things I didn’t like about Norwegian:

1. It was crowded. There were 2,394 people on board. And it felt like there were 2,394 people on board.
2. Embarkation and debarkation were a hellscape. Long lines in a hot tent. I can’t believe I paid money for this experience.
3. Tendering was a nightmare. No organization, lines to board stretched down the hallways.
4. All of the add-ons and up-sells. Drinks and wi-fi were not included. And someone was always trying to take our picture in front of a silly fake palm tree background. And then trying to sell us a package of 6 dozen 4×6 glossies.
5. The self-serve buffet and beverage situation. Not a fan of buffets. Because, germs. I’ve seen too many people act like Neanderthals at buffets. And the coffee on board was legit awful.

Things I liked about Explora (which mostly solved the things I didn’t like about Norwegian):

1. It never felt crowded. There were 922 people on board, and honestly, I don’t know where they all were.
2. Embarkation and debarkation were super smooth. No lines, no hot tents.
3. Tendering was organized and easy. You wait in an air-conditioned lounge (with drinks service!) for your small group to be called. Then you walk right onto the tender.
   • That said, there’s nothing you can do to make me enjoy tendering. You’re still bobbing around in a hot lifeboat while you make the dash toward land.
4. Drinks and wifi were included. So were gratuities. Huzzah!
5. No one tried to take our picture, ever.
6. The food on board was incredible. There were several full service restaurants – all included. And there is no buffet – it’s a “food emporium”. All of the food was entirely behind glass (so people can’t put their grubby fingers on anything) and staffed by super friendly people from around the world.

The Bottomline (if you can have a bottomline after two cruises) on Cruising

Having had a grand total of two cruising experiences, I have decided this: cruising is a catch-22. On the plus side, cruising allows you to see a lot of places in a short period of time. And you only have to unpack once – a BIG plus for me. But, the downside is, you are never in a place long enough to get to know it. To wit: only spending five hours in Florence didn’t even scratch the surface. I felt like we were in a race to see things and ended up seeing nothing.

No cruise is ever going to be as immersive as land travel. Nature of the beast. That said, cruising does give you a great introduction/overview of a place. Then you can decide if you want to return and immerse yourself further in a particular city or country. For example, I’m super glad I had the opportunity to visit Tunis, but don’t need to go there again. It was chaotic, and shockingly dirty. Conversely, the half-day we spent in Carloforte, Sardinia was incredible. It was quiet and charming. We would absolutely return there and stay for a few days and explore more of the island.

With the exception of the spa (I enjoy a good massage from time to time), I don’t use very many of the ship’s amenities. I don’t like the sun or the water, so you aren’t going to find me hanging out by the pool. I’m not into gambling, so I don’t go to the casino. And there is no world where I’m getting up at 0600 for hot yoga.

BUT, what I did enjoy on our at sea days on Explora was finding a quiet place where I could sit in the shade and the breeze, read a book, and watch the world go by. And if someone wanted to offer me a cold beverage, well, who was I to argue?

Ultimately, you have to find the style of cruising (and cruise line) that’s right for you. I’m sure you’ve seen pictures of the mega cruise ships – Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas has 7,600 people aboard what is essentially a floating amusement park/petri dish. Absofuckinglutely not. I’m not likely to go on another mainstream cruise – too big, too many people. But I think I may have found my Goldilocks cruise type with the Explora (and the like) category.

Would I go on another Explora cruise? Absolutely. But moving forward, if I ever talk about going to southern Europe in the summer again, I have instructed my family and friends to simply say these words to me: Vatican hot. Future summer travel will be to places like Canada, Greenland, northern Europe, and the southern hemisphere.

What’s next on our travel schedule?

This fall, we are going on a river cruise (our first) on Viking – from Budapest to Bucharest. We are laying over for a couple of days in Istanbul, and then another couple of days in Budapest before we sail. It’ll be October, so I’m looking forward to sweaters and not sweating.

Cheers!